The Wine Review
By Dale Dobson,

As these hazy days of summer drift inexorably onward, it seems a proper time for us to explore a bevy of new wines vying for connoisseurs' attention this fall.

First to table is a lovely 2003 cabernet from distinguished French vintner Vichy d'Avignon. As we open the bottle, our nostrils are titillated by a light fruity odor, sweet and satisfying without being too heady. The wine is well-aerated and glows with a soft amber hue in candlelight, and pleases the palate with deep plum tones and a slightly nutty taste. You can't go wrong with the Vichy this season - your guests will be relaxed and ready for sophisticated conversation in any setting. Let's have another glass, shall we?

Next, we examine a delicate 2002 champagne from the well-established Gallo wineries. A pink tinge in the bottle maintains a sense of tradition, with fine, frothy bubbles that tickle our nose immediately after the cork is popped. The taste is reminiscent of country apples, with a slight hint of mold that enriches the flavor without detracting from its pleasant light texture. Mmmmmm, delicious. We could drink the whole bottle.

A small Michigan winery produced this next offering, a light semi-dry wine mellowed by the addition of fresh grape juice. It's outstanding when chilled, or even "on the rocks" if an experimental, iconoclastic mood is called for. Hey! Waiter! We'll have another glass or two of this one, please!

Okay, what's this? It's from some California winery, we think. There's a picture of some palm trees on the label, and a plastic cork. Mmmmmmm, smells good! And it's red and sweet and tasty good. Let's have another bottle of this one!

What's next? Woo-hoo, our favorite! And CHEAP! Night Train Express! The alcohol content really took us by surprise. We're drinking it straight from the bottle and dancing on the elegantly appointed table! Drink up, friends! It's on us!

Yo! Waiter! Bring on the Wild Irish Rose! Yeaaahhh! Party on! We're the King of Sweden and the cows are makin' goat cheese!

Our dad always said we would never amount to anything. Well, you know what? FUCK YOU. That's right. That's what we said. F, C, K, U, C, K, YOU!

Cisco rocks! Is it a wine cooler or not? We don't care! Ceesco! Ceesco! We don't need no esteenking badges! Another round for us, por favor! Hasta los huevos!

You know what? We love you guys. And you know what? We really, really LOVE you guys.

Oooooooo. This one'sh in a beauteeful GREEEEEN bottle. We can see our fingersh on the other side. Hiiii, fingersh! They look like pickles. Lettus tell ya, this is some goooood shtuff right here. *hic* Isss call... uh... isss call... lettus tell ya, it's gooooooooood shtuff, buddy.

We'sa go pee pee.

The Wine Review will return in two weeks.

reads since 10/18/2005